Time
by Nevertrustaprussian
Summary: "It wasn't love at first sight, so I won't pretend it ever was. But sometimes, love that grows through friendship is stronger." Pairing: Prussia and Hungary rated: K    Prussia remembers his and Hungary's relationship. Oneshot


Time

I don't know exactly how I ended up at Austria's place (Hungary's too, but I wasn't exactly willing to admit that at the time). Only that I had begun wandering out of pure boredom, when before me, instead of the consistent grass, there was a fancy, elegant garden: if gardens can, indeed, be elegant. Beyond this, I could see part of the pristine white house that looked like something out of a book. The edges were too sharp, the paint too white, not one thing in the immediate vicinity of the house was out of place. For a moment I debated whether or not to keep walking. I knew full well what I would see, somewhere in my mind. I knew it, but still something drew me towards the house.

I knew exactly what that thing was. It was a want, rather, an emptiness in need to be filled. I would never say that allowed, for I was not some blubbering romantic, but that was exactly what it felt like.

In my life as a nation, I had only ever been emotionally attached to a few people.

One was my younger brother and charge, Germany.

And another was a nation that I had known for my entire existence: partially as a friend, partially as an enemy, and partially as a lover: Hungary.

We were inseparable most of the time, and if we ever did get into fights, they were short and easily made up, for we could never stay made at each other for long.

Because, at one time, we were all we had. Even if we were constantly trying to be better than the other, at least we had company.

And then I had finally realized how truly beautiful she really was. I tried to hide my growing affection for as long as I could. I would tease her the same as I always had, but being Hungary, she soon saw through my façade.

I remember the day clearly as if it were yesterday. We were sitting by a river, the same one we always sat by whenever there was a break from the constant fighting and bickering between nations. Hungary had her bare feet in the water, circling them slowly in the current. I was just watching her; I presume I was much quieter than usual. Maybe that was why she picked up on it at that moment.

"Gil…" Her voice sounded dreamy, as if she was speaking her thoughts and she turned her head to look at me, "Do you love me?"

I was so taken aback, I could feel my eyes widen from the shock. But the look of surprise only lasted a few seconds before I laughed and lifted an eyebrow.

"No! Of course not!" (Oh how I wish I had told the truth) "Why would ever think such a thing? You really are turning into a girl, aren't you? Next thing I know you'll be planning your wedding."

I must have missed the slight hope and knowledge with which Hungary had asked the question, but I surely did not miss the flash of hurt that graced her features.

That one look was a dagger, digging into my torso and making me gasp in airless breaths.

"I am not turning into a girl!" She chose to ignore the other aspects of my answer. It only drove the knife further through my chest. "I'm stronger than you, unless you've forgotten, _Preusßen_!"

"No you're not! Where did you ever get the idea that you could be stronger than the awesome _me_?"

And, just like that, the question was seemingly forgotten. However, I say 'seemingly' because of the little looks that we caught being flickered at one another. There were many times that I debated simply announcing my feelings, and hoping that they would be returned. Every time this option was debated, I decided I would.

And then I remembered the way I had laughed at her, made fun of her when she asked a similar question of me. There was no way I could risk our carefree, innocent friendship, however many times I said I would be fine without her.

I knew I wouldn't be, for Hungary, I decided later, made that life worth living.

So, I wasn't exactly expecting there to be a kiss one day while sitting in the same place that started the whole ordeal. And I definitely did not expect Hungary to initiate this kiss.

'You were taking too long' I remember her saying when we drew apart, the river still bubbling along behind her as usual. Everything about our relationship had just flipped upside-down, and it felt like the world should simply stop for a few moments to appreciate the happiness that was exploding in my chest at that particular moment as I saw Hungary's smile so close to my own, but still life went on, as it always has.

XX

How long was it? 50 years? 60? A very short time for a nation, much too short for me.

However long (or short) it was, it was the best time of my life. Hungary and I fit together perfectly, as if we were made for each other. We still treated one another the exact same way… if you were to add a few kisses here and there. It felt like there was an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders when the truth came out. When I told her, with a laugh, of my former mental struggle with emotions, she said she knew and chuckled that cute chuckle that only Elizabeta can. If we had been inseparable before, we were even worse now.

Until her boss and Austria's began to think about alliances.

Suddenly, she was always with _him. _I knew that she wasn't in love, but I couldn't help but be jealous of Austria, especially when one hour meetings turned into full days, and then when soon, I wouldn't see her for a full week. And then it turned into months.

Soon, I noticed a change in the way she was acting. Instead of smiling evilly when I mentioned an idea to get into trouble, she would scowl and put it down, saying it was inappropriate: that we were too old for that foolishness now.

For a while, I went along with it. As long as she still loved me, and I her, then it would be okay. She was probably just going through a phase from being around Austria for much too long. She stopped staying there for so long, months turned back into weeks and then days as it had originally been. And then she came to me one day, her eyes red, but contradicted by the large smile on her face.

'Lets do something fun today.' I will never forget that small utterance of words. I should have caught the strain that it caused her, but on another hand, I am slightly glad I didn't. If I had, that day wouldn't have been as amazingly _awesome_ as it was.

We spent the day by the riverside, playing in the water like children, splashing and laughing and enjoying the refreshing water and carefree hours. It was like before, when we had only been friends, challenging each other as to who could swim upstream the furthest, who could hold their breath the longest.

I am happy I didn't see the tears on Hungary's face that mixed so easily with the river water.

When we emerged from the water, we lay together on the grass, our bodies entwined: partially for warmth, partially for the love of feeling the other's company.

I was in blissful happiness: all the cares of the world forgotten as I enjoyed the peaceful silence. That was one thing I could only do with Hungary: it and enjoy as if I had all the time in the world.

(I wish I had known I didn't)

'I love you' The words flew from my throat faster than I could stop them, making my hand halt it's twinning in Hungary's hair. I felt her breathing catch, and instantly regretted the words. I was about to apologize when Hungary let out a choked sob, her head still nestled into my chest.

I didn't know what to do. Hungary had never cried in front of me. Did I let her cry? Or comfort her? Ask what was wrong? Or let her compose herself?

I opted for the second and third choices out of pure curiosity.

Slowly, I sat up, and felt as she did as well, having felt my movement.

Immediately, she turned her head from me, obviously not wanting me to see her tears.

However, I didn't let her, and insisted that she tell me why she was crying.

At first it seemed like she wasn't going to, but she did in the end. And I realized that, had she not told me, I would have found out anyways. Very soon.

'W-we're' I had never heard Hungary stutter before: especially not through tears. 'Getting married. Roderick and I, I wish I had told you earlier, but our bosses wanted to keep it low and-'

I didn't remember exactly what Hungary had continued to say, but I know that I had zoned out completely during her explanation as I simply stared ahead at the river that had once seemed like it hosted such wonderful memories, but was now only a reminder of what I wouldn't have anymore.

I felt tears of my own prick my eyes, but on no account would I let them fall. I wouldn't- couldn't- let myself cry.

I remember that we stayed there, on the grass, for the rest of the night, a silent, humourless drape cast over us both. I was tempted to grow angry at Hungary, to tell her it was all her fault so I could let out the numb depression that seemed to emanate from my broken heart. But I didn't let myself and held back instead, knowing that this _wasn't _her fault. Her tears had told me that much.

So, with no one present to blame, I simply drew Hungary back into my lap, wrapped my arms around her, feeling her place her hands on top of mine. Pressing my face into the crook of her neck, I closed my eyes and inhaling her unique scent that I had known for so long: one that I would never forget.

For the first time since Germania had been abolished, I felt tears leak from my eyes. I didn't even remember my pact of not crying, for how could you not cry when you lose your best friend?

XX

As I had thought, my feet continued to lead me closer to the house, giving me a view of a window to Austria's piano room. For once, the nation wasn't seated at his piano, but instead he was dancing: a waltz, to be precise, with a gorgeous woman. Though I knew her, perhaps better than any nation, she was a stranger to me. This woman was wearing a dress, her hair was styled, and her touch was light. She was smiling, her head relaxed against Austria's shoulder as she talked to him. About day-to-day things, most likely, little tid bits of information to waste breathe. They looked so natural together, each of their bodies moulded for the other as they danced, stepping (though it looked more like gliding) together across the floor.

I didn't want to watch them anymore: I didn't want to see her smile and close her eyes in appreciation of Austria's company. I wanted her for myself; I had always wanted her for myself, first as a friend, then as a lover…

Now, I didn't have her as either.


End file.
